1. This hot mess with a nasal cavity that is TOO DAMN LONG. Who needs that much nose, huh? Cokeheads*, that’s who.
*Nobody’s actually positive what Parasaurolophus’s elongated crest was for, but hypotheses include wooing a sexy mate (duh) or communication.
2. This confused little shithead who missed the memo that chickens* are not all that cool.
*Fun fact: chickens are descended from dinosaurs.
3. This dickhead who is trying way too hard. Get a manicure, sheesh.*
*Therizinosaur’s claws were over three feet long… and yet it was a herbivore. Waaasteful.
4. This overcompensating asshole.*
*Nobody has any clue in hell what the horn on Tsintaosaurus’s head was for.
5. This failure who gives raptors a bad name and obviously needs to rewatch Jurassic Park.
*Gigantoraptor didn’t have any teeth either so why even bother with life.
6. This poor bastard who makes T-Rex look ripped*.
*Some scientists think Carnotaurus’s arms might have been totally functionless. Cool.
7. …Who is at least marginally cooler than this jerk.*
*Linhenykus’s stupid little one finger-claw may have been used to dig through bug nests, actually making it more useful than Carnotaurus’s stunted arms.
8. This prancy little fucker.*
*Epidexipteryx was the first dinosaur fossil discovered with feathers so I guess that’s cool.
9. This bonehead who doesn’t understand that bowl haircuts weren’t even cool two million years ago.*
*Actual boney head may have been used for shoving contests. Yes, shoving. Get a better hobby, Stygimoloch.
10. This simpleton who has to worry about getting tangled in his own neck.
*Tanystropheus’s neck was ten feet long… and made up of only ten vertebrae. Considering we have 24… WHUT?
11. This actual numbskull.*
*Ankylosaurus has the same kind of bony armor found on armadillos and crocodiles today, only crocodiles look about 300x less stupid.
12. This… I don’t even know what, but it needs to put down the acid tabs ASAP.
*Despite being about the size of a giraffe and looking like that, scientists think Quetzalcoatlus could probably actually fly.
13. This danger to our airspace.*
*When Dimorphodon wasn’t flying around, he walked on all fours like an idiot.
14. This fool who was probably dropped on his head as a child.*
*Nobody’s actually positive why Brachylophosaurus’s head was like that, but my second guess is “slammed between two doors”.
15. And this winged wanna-be. Did nobody tell you parachute pants were only cool in the 80s!?*
*Okay, so not technically a dinosaur, but could YOU resist?
Good work, Evolution. A+
All dinosaurs are beautiful in their own way, and no dinosaurs were harmed in the making of this post.